Why are we here?

In my frantic quest for life I have been talking to God a lot. Unfortunately, I have not been able to quite my mind long enough to really listen. Today as I trudged home through the rain I began to question God and even shut-up long enough to listen. Through my questioning, I deduced that the answer to figuring out what to do with your life stems from the question, "why are we here in the first place"? The sole purpose we humans have in God's scheme is love. We are the only creatures with free-will and therefore the capacity to love.

I suppose it makes sense that the one obsession every human shares is the quest for love. The few who do not share these feelings are seen as monsters. We are made in God's likeness, so it stands to reason that He too would have an ingrained desire to create a creature capable of giving love to Him.

At this point, I begin to try to understand the ramifications of this concept, framing it in the only context I know: mine. What do I want from those I love? How do I extend this love to others? This is where I begin to slow down, burdened by my clearly inferior understanding. I suppose that I primarily want those I love to love me back and for them to be happy. When they hurt, I try to ease their pain and find a silver lining. I want others to love them as I do.

I love God, He wants me to be happy, He does not want me to worry because He's got everything under control, He is there to comfort me when thing go wrong and the joy He he puts in my heart shines on those around me. My purpose is to love him back, allow him to guide me through the life my heart has always longed for, and to let the joy that brings inspire and comfort those around me.

It seems too simple to be true. I feel that I am missing something. But this is what He whispered in my ear.

I also need to learn more about what love really is. I wish the purest love I felt was for my spouse, but I am not always unselfish or patient or kind to him. I wish I could say it was for my mother, but I selfishly lean on her for my own comfort. Or for my best friend, which is close to this love, but I still have selfish motives in my dreams for her. No, I think the purest love I have learned to express is for my baby brother. I only want him to be happy and safe. That simple. I don't expect or want anything from him other than the love I already know he has for me. Though this love is effortless for me to give to him, the idea of a God who feels this way about me is incomprehensible.

Perhaps as I come to accept this love and stop waiting to see what string is attached, I will begin to gain the courage to pursue my dreams. Perhaps when I learn to see God's face my own life will come into perspective.