Week 8: The Last Day

I decided to re-read my first post today. I wanted to see how far I have come in 8 weeks, every good experiment must be evaluated after all! I barely recognize the lonely, dejected woman who set out to craft a new life for herself. The tortuous minutia of struggling through the workday and coming home to watch my shows with no real future in sight was robbing me of myself, turning me into someone else. I feel at peace now, excited about the future, but also happy in the moment. I think it's worth mentioning another beautiful phenomenon, as I have added to my life money has decreased it's staring role in it. Yes I still budget and manage it, but I no long feel the need to talk about it much or even to think about it often. God provides everything I need, and as I have said before; money in and of itself is dreadfully boring! I wrote that I wanted to craft a life of friendship, adventure and passion, and to figure out what direction to steer my future. I set six weekly goals for myself to this end: One new recipe, daily workouts, one dinner party or social outing, one piece of writing, one new New York experience and one new friendship.

Recipes: Fat Free Canoli's, Chinese Broccoli, Home-made Pasta, Grilled Cheese and Pear, Pulled-Pork, Bun Bowl, Quiche, Risotto

These may not seem very impressive, most of them were fairly simple to make, but they all were an adventure. Challenging myself to create something new, not for someone else, but for the sheer pleasure of it added adventure to my life. Searching the neighborhoods of Manhattan for just the right ingredients, looking for inspiration at every turn, enjoying the successes and the unbelievable disasters, this is a simple excitement born out of my passion added color to my weeks.

Workouts: Spinning 2x per week, Pilates 1x per week, Hiking weekends, various 2x per week

It seems so vain and trivial, but pushing myself to try spinning has made me feel so strong and beautiful! Those pesky pounds have melted away, and I still eat without guilt but with balance. I feel amazing.

Dinner Parties/ Social: Drinks with Kaitlin and Gussie, 3 EWI cooking events, 1 EWI restaurant event, Visiting Jo and meeting her girlfriends, Marisa's wedding and party, dinner with Jill

I have been out with friends at least once a week, the best part being that each was fun, exactly what I wanted. I did not go out clubbing or partying, but sharing laughter and food and conversation. It has become a natural part of my life. I make an effort to see people and clearly that was all I needed to do. Learning to stop waiting for things to happen and making them happen has transformed my life. I am not lonely. I have friends all over the country and that's ok! I can find ways to see them and stay connected, and though not as close, my friends in New York add comfort and richness to my everyday life. Starting Eating with Impunity has empowered me to bring people together in an entirely different way. To introduce a group of 20 strangers and have them become friends is something I never thought I was capable of.

Writing: The Blog

Twenty-some odd posts later and the inane details of my life have become a story. Some funny, some profound, some simple. I am becoming a true writer and the author of my own life.

New York: Hell's Kitchen Flea Market, Chinatown, West Village specialty markets, Rowing on the Hudson, Brooklyn Book Festival, Brooklyn Tabernacle Baptist, Murray Hill Specialty Market, Dinner in Queens

Exploring my city has made it all the more enchanting. I don't need to be rich to experience the unique flavors of the many neighborhoods, and I don't have to be at the hottest clubs or newest plays for it to be totally New York! This city is different for everyone and I have found My New York. The New York of vintage hunting, unique cuisines and disastrous outdoor sports! I don't have to be anyone but myself and I don't have to force myself to try.

Social Connections: EWI group, new NYU members, Jo's girls, M.'s girls, re-connection with old friends

I have not made any new best friends, but I have met some amazing people. I am connecting with fellow foodies, reconnecting with old friends and seeing how rich life can be when you accept people for who they are. I enjoyed the crazy night with the suburban housewives in Denver, I loved the Army wives of Tennessee, I feel an instant connection to the girls I met at NYU and my EWI group is becoming like a little family. Each person in my life is different, but they are all characters, some funny, some sad all part of a great story.

What to do with myself: ??? : )

I am starting a new job, not career, job. The VA is going to allow me the opportunity to help people and the time to help myself! My applications have been sent to NYU's Food Studies and to half of the law schools. I am thinking that I will start at NYU in the spring (if I get in!) and when I hear back from the law schools, decide whether to continue with food studies or go for a law degree. For a short time I will be able to have it all! I am taking my FSO exam next week as well. I have so many choices ahead of me and I don't think a single one is wrong. I am going to follow my heart in making my decisions and continue to construct the elements I need in my life. I don't need a career to give me everything, it is only one piece of the grand life I am creating.

For the first time I feel peaceful, happy and at home. I thought at first that it was New York, a place to call home. As I sent my applications off to UCLA and USC and heard D.'s mother talk about production opportunities out west, I felt nothing but a quiet excitement. No panic, no regret. I love New York and I always will, but the home I have found is not geographical, it is something inside of me. I feel for the first time in my life that no matter where my adventures take me, the friendship and excitement and comfort of home will follow, everything will be ok. Perhaps I have been home all along, needing only to find myself to realize it.

D.'s plane is landing at JFK any minute now, what will happen now? My prayer is that even together I can stay close to home, not get lost in his dreams. My prayer is that our dreams will compliment each others, simply adding flavor. My prayer is that my adventure can be our adventure, that our friendship and love is big enough for the big ideas we both have. What will it look like though? I suppose that will be the next great experiment of my life. I have taken hold of my own life and created something beautiful, now it is time to try and double it. The adventures of D and Fi...hmm, has a nice ring to it.....