Rhythm of Life

I have fallen into a nice rhythm of life. My weekly goals have become more of a checklist, a way to schedule my time, almost effortless. EWI has blossomed into an organization that needs to be nurtured, but is relatively self sustaining. It is my imagination and desires that determine the direction, as megalomaniac as that sound, it seems that people want or need someone to lead the charge. I push myself in the kitchen and in the gym, but not obsessively. I have learned to cut myself some slack. The longer I ponder my future, the brighter it becomes. Passion is my north star, and as unpredictable as it may seem, it has been my constant. My applications are all in, my third step in the FSO process is complete, and all I have to do is wait. Wait and enjoy.

For the first time in my life waiting is not rot with nauseating impatience and anxiety. I feel only curiosity, excitement and, dare I say, hope. The vague picture of the future I have is like a Monet: beautiful, recognizable, but with soft details. I feel that this is where God works best. Let him workout the details!

Life is not perfect, but it is good. My apartment, for example, I looked for something better and found that it was by far the best I could afford right now. This made me appreciate it more, and I am happily obsessing over re-designs, my mind aflutter with midcentury modern accents and nods to the style and feeling I want to evoke. I can't afford it all, but I am doing a fine job working with what I have. Perhaps this is what contentment is.

I have an exciting week ahead of me. Tonight I am hosting an Afghani tasting, I am attending another Beard on Books on Wednesday where I hope to speak with someone about using the space, I have Momofuku chicken dinner on Friday, I am trying to plan a Tamale demo for EWI at a new member's loft for Saturday and it is my last full time week at RRA. My job itself is sure to be completely insane this week due to my impending departure, but what a joy that my life outside of those 40-someodd hours is enough to color my experience. Who knows, perhaps my brother will get his rehab date and I will get an acceptance letter this week as well!

I am about to start my Korean cooking for tomorrow's dinner, something I have been putting off for a few weeks! At this rate my "Eating/Cooking around the World" project will take me the next 25 years! Se La Vi. I know this Serene calm, this quiet contentment will not last, life is a stormy journey, but the place I have arrived makes even this thought unaffecting. Through it all, the love, the loss, the adventure and the pain, I have survived. Better than survived, I have lived. At the end of the day, what more can anyone really ask for?