Hello 2010!

It was great to be with the EWI crew again on Tuesday! We braved the disgusting, frigid weather on the way to Purple Yam, and it was actually worth it. We six ladies ate our way through a good chunk of the menu, and everything was delicious. It was probably the best meal I have had in the past few months. Even more than that, it was good for my soul to be with my people again. The joy this group has brought me is overwhelming. When I start to really think about the fact that this amazing group of 35 people see me as their "leader" (a title that makes me blush), I am awe struck.

I am not shy or all that humble, but I am honored and humbled by the recognition they give me. Bringing people together around a passion so near and dear to me is like a dream. One of my members told me the other day that the key to groups like ours is the leader. She said that "If you don't really like the founder, the group is going to suck, no matter what the theme is". Wow. I am so completely real with these people, and they love me. It is a feeling I have never really had before and it floors me. I need them and they need me. Eating With Impunity is truly my baby.

We have rescheduled the Beer and Cheese Fete for a week from Saturday, but I decided to spring a last minute brunch on the group for this Saturday. Whether one or ten, I am going to have a good time! All about me you know! It is a bit scary, but that has been a theme of mine lately. I care about other people deeply, but for the first time in my life, I am really focusing on just making myself happy. Hopefully this is healthy and not the beginning of my slow decent into narcissism!

This sentiment carries over to my relationship with D. too. I blame it on my new attempts to "act my age", but I am finding myself thinking in terms of "me" and not "we". I have stepped back and I don't think that it is inappropriate. I am 25, unmarried and have my whole life ahead of me. I am no more ready to settle down now than I was when I was playing house at 19, the difference is, now I know it.

Well, 2009 is on it's way out. The parties begin in a few hours. Nine and a half hours from now 2010 will be here, filled with all the possibility, adventure and hope of a new born child. This has been a good year, for the first time in my life I am certain that the next will be even more beautiful. This year I came back to life: I truly met my brother for the first time, I fell in love with a city, I transformed my life, I found my passion and I re-discovered hope. There was sadness, there was pain, but it was all overshadowed by joy. I have so much love in my life, it is overwhelming.

I seem to have lived and died so many times over the last 25 years, thank God I am so alive on the eve of 2010. Thank God for my beautiful friends, old and new. Thank God for the city that took my breath away. Thank God for my strong, resilient heart that still somehow has the capacity to give and receive even after all the heartbreak. I am exactly where I want to be and who I want to be, it can only get better from here.